2 days into the new year. And I'm already feeling a little stale. All the hype about 'a fresh start', 'a new beginning', 'new year's resolutions' and what-have-yous is not doing much to help calm my jitters. I am perfectly aware of the reason behind this 'hangover' of sorts. The unfinished business of 2006 that I have stored somewhere in the back of my cupboard will bare its teeth soon enough. Every single year of my life has been filled with joyous memories. Significant moments. Worthy achievements. But bitter times and dark hours has made its presence known too. I cannot help but reminsice these times. And then allow them to form barriers around me. That inhibits the shoots of optimism to break through. Always I feel pulled down. I sense heaviness in my heart. That something terrible will cloud my journey. I want to bask in every moment of my life this year. I want to help myself get up in great strength. I want to enjoy life fully. I don't want to hold back my feelings. I want to let myself go. |