[Retrospect] It has nearly been two years. I never hoped for the pain to heal. Nor the void be filled. Only, it has never crossed my mind how much more painful the wound has turned out to be and how much it has refused to leave me. I'm slowly adapting myself to this harsh reality. To succumb to my test of life. Almost always I feel the overwhelming desire to let my tired soul fall. And let the biting pain chew on. I'm glad that the year is coming to a wrap. 2006 has been a tumultous one. The comings and goings has left me very much fragile than I was at the start. I'm not imagining things. Of that I am sure. I get the feeling that at times, I'm moving slowly, inches away from the blinding darkness of the abyss. I almost feel the emptiness of it screaming back at me. As I sit out this surprisingly serene Aidilfitri, my thoughts and memories rolled by me. I'm scared to finish this arduous race. I fear the outcome. If I ever manage to cover my ground.
[AndarieL] I'm sitting out the crowd at 4:58 pm. Taking solace in my room. It has been a draining week. The preparation and all for Aidilfitri was hellish. I slept at 4:00 am last night, after an entire day drawing out dust and mess from the most unimaginable nooks in the house. It made me realise that I am actually cut out for harsh environment; such filth! The end result was superb. Gleams throughout! But a routine check of my now crowded living room revealed that the gleam has made way to grime! Sigh! And I do have work tomorrow! Damn! It is not so much having to turn up for work tomorrow. But, what shall wear?! Salam Aidilfitri! |
